Saying Goodbye...

For 36 years I had my Gram.  

She took care of me from the time I was very little until I went off to first grade.  Under her care I learned my letters/colors/shapes, the proper order in which to eat any lunch, and the simple pleasure of a post bath Jean Nate powdering.  But most importantly, she taught me that most mundane things are always improved when you create and sing a nonsense song and dance a little jig. 

It never hurts to wear a “snood” either. ..

Gram was a big supporter of all her grand kids.  A constant presence in my life, she attended almost every torturous band concert, embarrassing dance recital and talent show, numerous little kid birthday parties, and every graduation.  As the most devout person in my life, I also asked her to be my confirmation sponsor - an honor in her book.  

Always thinking of others, I received a card (usually with a couple bucks to treat myself to an ice cream or beer) for EVERY Valentine’s, St. Patrick’s Day, Easter, birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas my entire life.  There was sometimes a special note, but there was always "a love and God bless".  Mail will never be the same and I’m pretty sure Hallmark’s stock will plummet.  

As a person who treasured time with her family above everything, Gram never missed a wedding, anniversary party, or holiday celebration.  I am going to miss Thanksgiving chats, dying Easter eggs (hers always came out better than ours), and most importantly Christmas eve dinner. 

 

Gram loved nothing more than traveling.  She took pride in the number of places she had visited in her life.  When we were kids she took us on special family trips to Niagara Falls, a grand tour of Europe, a family trip to Ireland and spent every summer with us on Cape Cod.  

 

She found ways to visit me in college, during grad school in DC, and almost every year I have lived in New York City.  The countless shared Broadway plays, trips to national monuments and museums, visits to the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree, drinks and dinners are some of my most treasured memories.  

 

For reasons unknown at the time, she also agreed that the two of us should go celebrate her (actual) German heritage with a trip to Oktoberfest.  Shortly after securing our very first beers, she told me the following story:

 “After the cancer doctor told me I was in remission, I told your Grandfather I wanted to see Germany before I died.  We came to Oktoberfest and I sat across from an older woman.  Using my basic German, I was able to ask her age and she said 75.  I congratulated her and thought to myself ‘I will not live to see 75.’ But now, here I stand with my granddaughter, at 81 years old, back again at Oktoberfest! Prost!”  

St. Patrick’s Day…will just never be the same.  There is just nothing more to be said.  

Gram prayed for hours every day. She prayed for everyone she ever lost, asked for the health and safety of others, and begged strength and forgiveness from the God she loved so much.  However, the ONLY prayer for herself was a request for a quick and painless death.  In the two days before her death she got her hair and nails done, took a ride up to Provincetown and saw Despicable Me.  She fell, went into the hospital, and slipped away a few hours later surrounded by her kids at 89 years old.  There is much comfort in knowing her prayer was answered and certainly no one deserved it more. 

She was my hero, my friend, my inspiration and my most favorite person on earth.  She has been gone a only week and to say there is a Granny sized hole in my heart feels like a complete understatement.   

But because it is what she would have done, I am now going to put on my big girl panties, pour myself an extra-large beer, “offer it up” and “mog” on.   

I love you Gram. I will think of you every day. 

PS – She said we couldn’t make a photo wall or put a photo with her obituary (Or she would haunt us!) but she never said anything about a ginormous set of photos on Flickr.  I hope to grow this collection with older photos as they are pulled out of the basement and from various relatives.

Hilarity From Your Desk

Today I discovered the gem that is Signspotting.com and was beyond happy.

Better hurry!

Bizarre signs and dismembered stick figures are one my favorite things to photograph on vacation! (I blame Mike Neff for this habit, although somewhere along the way I've forgotten why...)

In any case, it reminded me that I've been wanting to make an addendum to my list of funny websites. People are consistently sending me links to bizarre and silly sites so my bookmark folder is immense. These are just the ones that I like the most!

The Oatmeal


Hyperbole and a Half


Stuff White People Like


Why Did You Buy Me That


That is Priceless


Crappy Taxidermy


Shit My Kids Ruined

Positive Momentum

Happy New Year internets!

So looking back, I was a complete failure at goal numero uno in 2010... to blog... and for that I apologize!

However, despite also failing at goals number four through eight, 2010 was a downright fantastic year! Highlights certainly include amazing trips to Montreal, Chicago, the west coast swing through Portland, Napa, and San Fran, a 40th Anniversary shin dig for mom and dad, FIGMENT, dancing my ass off at Further Festival with Mike Piergrossi, St. Patrick's Day with the Insane Clown Posse, the 2nd Annual Bad Bridesmaid Dress Pub Crawl, and my awesome 33rd birthday party at the crazy Russian nightclub, The National!

While all of these were amazing experiences, I think what solidified 2010 as a great year was a complete attitude shift. I decided to control what I could control, avoid things I knew were stressful, and find the fun and ridiculous in everything. So in an effort to continue this positive momentum, I thought I'd lay out some goals for this year. So as not to disappoint, I'm not including blogging as an actual goal, but I do hope to write with more frequency than four measly posts in 365 days. That's just pathetic.

1) Join a gym and Weight Watchers and lose 20 pounds. In past years I have not set a specific goal for weight loss, so perhaps a number will help? All I know is that I hate the way I look and it's time to do something about it.

1.5) Complete "Couch to 5K" program. I know a bunch of chubby out of shape people who have successfully completed these programs. I think it would be good for me... even though I detest running.

2) Support breast cancer research. I'm not sure if this will involve a fund raising walk or something else, but I know too many amazing women, including my awesome Aunt Jeanne, that have suffered at the hands of this disease. If you are participating or organizing something this year, feel free to recruit me.

3) Finish a project management certificate program at NYU and pass the PMP certification exam. I'm all registered for my first of five classes. Now I just have to remember how to read, study and...write. I haven't used my brain in a meaningful way in a long time. To be honest, I'm nervous!

3.5) Apply for jobs in project management and get the hell out of the museum ghetto. To put it bluntly: WORKING FOR MUSEUMS SUCKS. I'm over it. It's time to get paid.

4) See more live music. I live in NYC and my friend Rachel is always trying to get me to come with her to some concert or another! I love live music and I want to make this more of a priority.

5) Take a comedy improv class. I never got around to this in 2010 and still really want to try. We'll see if I have time or money considering my school and FIGMENT time commitments.

6) Recommit to FIGMENT. While many of you heard me whine and complain while I was volunteering last year, in the end this was a positive experience. I met some amazing talented people, it led to a new lucrative part-time job and it ultimately got me in gear to go back to school. Plus, the weekend itself was a total hoot. I mean, who doesn't like girls in neon spandex dancing on a pile of bagels?

7) Grow balls and put my name in the hat for The Moth. Last year I got close but chickened out when I saw the crowd of 200 people. This year I'll do a few shots of liquid courage and get my ass on stage.

8) Never again waste another random "I love you" or " I miss you" on anyone that doesn't deserve it! This is actually a goal focused on having better judgment in people. Enough said.

9) Keep up with Meatless Mondays. I suppose this is partially a cop out since I've been doing this awhile, but I like to have an achievable goal! On a side note, all my food industry interest led to a slight addiction to documentaries last year. I learned a lot of interesting stuff in 2010!

10) "Poop Free In 2011!!!". Obviously this is more of a wish than a goal, but I believe 2010 was better because the fucking birds didn't poison me with their special brand of loving! Let's see if I can go two years in a row! (Knocking... wood...)

PS - Here's hoping my New Years Eve fortune comes true in 2011!

Another Social Casualty?

Initial reports on the recent Rolling Stone article about John Mayer were frighteningly cringe worthy. There were lines so bad it made me ponder if he still had a living mom that knew how to read! Quotes such as "Blowing me off is the new sucking me off” and “I am the new generation of masturbator. I’'ve seen it all. Before I make coffee, I'’ve seen more butt holes than a proctologist does in a week.” blew my mind!

But after perusal of the full article this morning, I sighed in relief that he hadn't dug himself a career crypt...this time. Despite the annoying requisite mentions of JM's relationships with Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Anniston, I think the article's author actually got to the heart of the artist, or at least the version of him that I've come to admire. In addition to offering partial explanations for why John is a mental case, he also reminded everyone to "realize that, above all else, he means well and is simply, in the end, trying to find his way, as best he can."

I'm not entirely sure why I've got such a soft spot for JM. By all standards he's not my cup of tea with his cheese ball "your body is a wonderland" sensitive teeny girl fluff, but the majority of his music and funny personal quirks have a solid little place in my heart. And despite his proclivity for running his mouth to his own detriment, I love the fact that he puts himself out there in honest real ways like occasional stints of stand-up comedy (something I'm still working up enough courage to try) and writing frequently about farts and poop on his Twitter account!

Maybe I identify with him because we're the same age, have been through some ugly relationships, and are both still searching for that ever elusive "life partner". Maybe I’m just a more of a girlie girl than I believe because I admittedly identify with his sappy overly emotional lyrics. Or possibly he sticks with me because his first album was a small point of joy during the sad months after the death of my grandparents.

But perhaps I love JM because my first exposure came during the pre-tabloid Inside Wants Out beginnings of his career. (For certain, tracks like Back To You and his stark eerie acoustic cover of Radiohead's Kid A speak to me more than yawn worthy tunes like War of My Life from his new album.) And meeting him when he was a virtual unknown, I suffered my first bit of stunned star struck silence while he signed a photo during a very small in-store event. (I think I was also experiencing a total fit of jealousy towards the woman in front of me who received a big hug and photo with him as he tried to increase/alleviate her beet red uncomfortable presence in front of him.) In any case, I find it hilarious that I suffered (and continue to feel) my first NKOTB like obsession at 26 for an unknown singer song writer!

Or hell, maybe I crush on the dude because he's just really fucking cute!

Either way, I know on my list of top five people I'd most like to hang out (and smoke a joint) with, John certainly makes the cut. Seeing as he lives in Soho just down the street from The Drawing Center, maybe someday he'll pop into work and check it off my bucket list!