When The Morning Comes

I would not describe 2009 as my best year. I struggled through salary reductions, new roommate growing pains, mild depression, job rejection, and a series of unfortunate health issues. However, there were certainly highlights including my awesome trip with PJ to London, the addition of my new nephew Tanner, an awesome Wine and Swine weekend in the Hudson Valley, the Inaugural Bad Bridesmaid Dress Pub Crawl and the discovery of Battlecrack. In the light of hindsight, what was lacking seems to be motivation and structure.

So I've returned in 2010 to writing out a set of goals for the new year. Different than resolutions, these are things I can accomplish at any point in the 12 months. So as my good friend Kelly wrote, "Behold! My hopes and dreams for 2010!"

1) Blog. In 2009 I missed writing. I missed having interactions with random people in the virtual world. I missed seeing stats showing that weirdos who Googled “banana anal” or “banana intercourse” had somehow landed on my silly blog! While I don't plan to set myself themes or deadlines, I am planning to review nerdy books and music a little. Also, in an effort to grow balls to tell a story in public at The Moth, I thought I could write out some of my funny and frequently recounted stories. Ya know, put some writer mojo on them? Thus far the biggest challenge seems to be identifying stories that protect identities of my accomplices and are Dad friendly. So stay tuned because "Sunday Stories" is under construction.

2) Take a basic photography class. I know how to compose a photo, but I don't know how to technically use a camera. I get pissed when a composition I envision fails based on lack of technical “know how” and my lame point and shoot camera. I’m determined to learn the basics on my borrowed Cannon G9 (love you PJ!) and eventually upgrade to a big girl camera… when I find a sugar daddy or win the lotto.

3) Attend "Meet Ups". I belong to a bunch of interesting groups for things like urban hikers, science fiction readers, sky diving (also a 2010 wish list item) and wine tasting. I want to actually get my ass to some of these events in the hopes of meeting new people. I'm done with co-ed sports for the time being thanks to that pesky broken foot.

4) Write a Journal. What I miss most about a 365 blog is the forced self reflection. Perhaps this will help.

5) Take a Comedy Improv Class. People tell me I’m funny. Maybe now I’ll find out from the professionals. This goal is totally dependent on funding and finding an affordable class for total novices in this comedy city.

6) Eat Healthy and Exercise More. This really translates to “Stop being a fat ass!” or ‘Fit into your pants, chubby!” Considering I can't afford a gym and it's balls cold here, this will prove a challenge. But I plan to eat less and do shit like dance around my room and do sit ups... or something. Also, in an effort to help the environment I’ve enacted Meatless Mondays.

7) Volunteer. I’ve been feeling the need to give back for awhile. Being single and childless, the best resource I can offer is my time. In addition, besides being good for the world, it’s a way to meet new like minded people and perhaps network my way into a different career.

8) Read the Sunday New York Times. I am woefully ignorant of world events and so many conversations in New York start with “I was reading the Times this Sunday and…”

9) Keep Up With Adopt A Neighborhood. I sort of fell down on the job in 2009. I let work and depression talk me out of several neighborhoods last year. If you are interested in hosting or have thoughts for places to visit in 2010, get in touch. So far the list of neighborhoods is:
Chelsea
Sunset Park
Greenpoint
Brighton Beach
Ozone Park
Forrest Hills
Wave Hill
Harlem East

10) Career Therapy And Renewed Job Search. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. But I do know I'm over the art world and desperately want to make real money. However, lacking a direction, I'm having a difficult time focusing forward moving efforts. So step one involves reading What Color Is My Parachute and investigating some sort of career therapy. After that, network, apply and cross my fingers.

11) Stay Positive. Remember to look for the humor in things. And when in doubt watch this video and smile!

Meatless Mondays

I've done a decent amount of reading surrounding the horrifying state of the US food industry. I've been thoroughly disgusted by everything relating to the production of meat and frightened by my total ignorance of issues facing American farmers. As summarized by Laura Miller in this Salon.com article "In brief, our current meat-heavy system of food production is unsustainable, a waste of resources and a source of pollution in the form of pesticides and hormones as well as methane gas from livestock manure. Our over reliance on a few big crops (especially corn and soy) depletes the soil, demanding the use of ever greater quantities of chemical fertilizers, whose manufacture requires massive amounts of fossil fuel. The foods produced by agribusiness, in the form of highly processed flours, fats and -- above all -- high-fructose corn syrup, have little nutritional value and foster a host of health problems, including diabetes, heart disease and high blood pressure as well as obesity. The industries fabricating these foods have bought and paid for American politicians and government agencies, costing taxpayers billions of dollars per year in subsidies and other benefits paid to businesses who profit while eroding the public's health."

But that doesn't mean I'm willing to totally give up a good bacon cheeseburger...

So, part of my 2010 goals (coming soon) involve challenging myself to eat better and follow Michael Pollen's rule to "Eat food, not too much, mostly plants". This is a two fold challenge to improve my own health (ie: stop being a fat ass) and do my part to help the environment. Since it's not in my current budget to go totally organic, I'm starting with baby steps.

All advocates agree that reducing the consumption of meat and animal products is the easiest and most effective way to lessen my impact on the system. It has the added benefit of being better for my health. While my co-worker has been following Mark Bittman's idea of reducing his animal product consumption to just one meal a day, I can't realistically see myself giving up milk on cereal, yogurt with granola, or the occasional eggs for breakfast.

So I've decided to start by reducing my overall consumption of meat in conjunction to going totally vegetarian at least once a week, specifically Mondays. I'm also going to push myself to shop more at local Farmer's Markets and try and eat more things in season.

If you are interested in learning more, be sure to pick up Michael Pollen's books Omnivore's Dilemma and In Defense of Food, Eric Schlosser's Fast Food Nation, and Mark Bittman's Food Matters. If you're too busy to read, Netflix yourself a copy of Food Inc. The images of the chicken farms and cattle yards should be enough to shock yourself into action.

Cheap Laughs At A Cheaper Price

Why hello, 2010. Nice to meet you. Goal #1: Return to the world of blogging. Check.

Whipped Banana Cock Nut Huggers for Cheap Laughs At A Cheaper Price

In 2010 laughter is a priority. So I'd like to share my list of hilarious sites that elicit a chuckle or five in my day! If I've missed any secret gems from your collection, be sure to share them in the comments!

Fail Blog

Regretsy

I Can Haz Cheezburger

People Of Walmart

Bad Engrish

This is why you're fat

Pets Who Want to Kill Themselves

That is Priceless

Cake Wrecks

Texts From Last Night

Fuck You Penguin

Snacks and Shit

STFU, Marrieds