Any girl friend of mine who has patiently suffered one of my legendary fashion meltdowns knows I suffer massive agita over special event outfits. But this evening was something more extreme. Recently someone, (a vindictive petulant childish idiot) who knows exactly how to push my buttons, called me a "fat pig". While totally unnecessary, that statement is not entirely untrue. I AM the heaviest I have ever been and none of my clothes, including fun party dresses, fit. I've had the good fortune to wear the same size since high school but I have to accept now I'm officially an old biddy with a slow bitch of an already lazy metabolism.
Over the past six months I've entertained any number of excuses for not returning to a regular diet and workout routine; I'm sick, I'm having heart palpitations (no joke), I'm too stressed out (hence the palpitations), I'm adjusting to the new job, I don't have health insurance, etc, but I officially hit bottom tonight when my "fat pants" were scandalously snug. Unless I plan to attend future exhibit openings naked or in my bathrobe, the procrastination ends Friday.
I briefly entertained the idea of re-purposing this as an exercise focused blog, but realized I'm too sensitive to withstand constant cyber criticism. However, I do like the idea of being accountable to someone, albeit an invisible audience of five readers. In this respect, I humbly submit these two "before" photos as proof of my commitment.
This one is labeled "My Ass Looks Huge" on Flickr.
I can't believe I'm even sharing this double chin monstrosity. Now, I'm not looking for a miracle. I've never been thin and I understand the need to set realistic goals like "fit into pants" and "try not to feel like a stuffed sausage" and " stop being the fattest girl at the party". So my plan involves 3-4 mornings at the gym, smaller portions, more water, and less beer! However, any great weight loss tips, suggestions, low calorie recipes, exercise buddies, invites for bike rides or walks, 6am motivational wake up calls, or free personal training sessions are all welcome.
I'll update the collective you in a few weeks, hopefully with a positive outcome. I have a dress and two shirts with tags still waiting for me to lose those ever present ten pounds, but at the moment I'm most concerned with easier breathing in my tight work skirts!
6 comments:
Exercise bike are a great way to lose weight and shape up in the convenience of your home – no wonder that so many people choose an exercise bike for weight loss! These days, with so many options available, it is possible to find a bike to suit just about anybody, so there is no excuse anymore to hop on and start to cycle away the pounds!
you can DO it!
The universe is conspiring against us. I called my latest diet plan "Just for Today" with the goal of eatting a little less, drinking a little less, and exercising a little more in order to lose about a pound a week. At the end of the week, I had actually gained a pound and a half. I feel your pain.bx
There are these low fat, sugar-free high protein bars called Think Thin that I started eating a year or two ago that I really like. I actually use them in my bag when I know I want a snack or if I am running from work to a League meeting and don't want to eat the scary fatty dinner provided. They curb my appetite so I don't go for the cheapest worst thing when I am starving and they actually don't taste bad, they are kinda good.
I am also a fan of Splenda when I am trying to lose weight.
The biggest thing for me was stopping drinking. I lost a lot of weight then. I tried to follow a plan of whether food was "worth" eating and only splurging on things when I knew they would be super rad. Like the difference between cardboard pizza and an epic pie from your favorite Italian joint. You get the picture. I made a solemn vow to never eat food that was brought into the office because ultimately it was junky crap that wasn't "worth it."
The biggest thing that changed the way my body looked? Yoga and weight training. HUGE, noticeable differences. Additionally, the yoga will help with stress too. Weights were phenomenal.
I am definitely not the size I was in high school and I have been lots of different sizes since then so keeping up with my health and appearance has always been present.
I wish I lived closer because I would totally get you out on your bike! Good luck, I'm routing for you!
Call me if you want a Prospect Park running/biking buddy! I need to lose about 10 pounds myself!
Girl: you can SOOOOOO do it, I am certain of that! No, you should not be expecting miracles, you are right, but: once you start taking some weight off, you'll immediately start feeling better and that will (hopefully! :-) inspire you to lose more. Not to say that you need to lose a lot but as someone who's almost always trying to lose weight myself: YOU JUST NEED TO GET INTO IN (with your body and mind) and the weight will come off! You can call it a miracle, or not, but the weight will not be there!
:-)
Much luck! I'm there with you in spirit!
E.
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